


And His Love Will Conquer

by IceTina



Category: Class (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M, post 1x08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 09:12:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceTina/pseuds/IceTina
Summary: Charlie is lost and Matteusz will find him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The quotes you recognize in italics are from the show, no copyright infringement intended.

  _ **And His Love Will Conquer**_

 

 

A few hours. That’s it.

A few hours ago, everything made sense. A few hours ago, Matteusz had so much hope. And now his entire world had fallen out beneath him. Nothing would ever be the same. Nothing would ever be okay again. Who was he now? Who was Charlie? How did they move on from this? Could they move on from this?

 

\-----

 

April woke up in the body of Cornakinus and everything was pandemonium. Charlie was silent.  Eventually, Quill shouted for Charlie to get out. Cripled by despair, he was no help to anyone. Matteusz led him out of the school. Matteusz was with Charlie. Always. The others didn’t need him. He had never been fighting the same war as the others. He had always been fighting for Charlie.

Matteusz didn’t know where he belonged anymore, but Charlie clung to him so tightly that he didn’t have any choice but to lead the other boy home. Charlie moved on autopilot, lost to his thoughts. Submerged in a grief Matteusz couldn’t even begin to pretend he could understand.

They hadn’t spoken since Charlie had destroyed the Shadow Kin. Destroyed himself. Destroyed them.  Matteusz walked silently beside Charlie, moving as best he could with Charlie pressed tightly into his side, arms around his waist. He couldn’t bear Charlie’s suffering, but was glad of the silence. His mind was chaos, and he didn’t know what he would say if Charlie spoke to him.

  _We do these things because we have to, but who are we when we are done?_

Who was Charlie now? Who was Matteusz? How would they ever get back to who they were, what they were?

They arrived home a second and a lifetime later and Charlie pulled Matteusz upstairs to the room they had shared not so long ago. Charlie crawled into the bed, pulling Matteusz against him until he was snuggled tightly with his back pressed firmly into Matteusz’s front. Charlie’s whole body was shaking. He sobbed as Matteusz held him and ran a hand gently back and forth across his chest. He whispered quiet reassurances that meant nothing and would do nothing. It was habit. A trait of the human condition. When you loved someone you told them everything would be okay. Even when it was the hardest thing to say. Even when it was the biggest lie you would ever tell. Even when the person you were comforting was broken beyond repair. You told them everything would be okay and you prayed that somehow it could be true.  

An eternity passed before Charlie’s sobs slowed and he fell into a fitful sleep. Matteusz held Charlie for several moments as he slept then pressed a gentle kiss to the back of his neck and, as carefully as he could, pulled himself away and crawled out of the bed. He knew Charlie would be awake again soon.  He didn’t want to leave him, but he needed some distance. He needed to think.

It had been the longest six days of his life being away from Charlie. _For six days, I thought of nothing but you._ He thought he had figured everything out. He had come to see Charlie so full of love and hope this afternoon. Knowing that whatever happened, they were going to make it. Now that clarity was so far gone that Matteusz wasn’t sure he could ever get back there.

He sat at Charlie’s desk and rested his head in his hands. Tried to calm his aching heart. His throat burned. He allowed the anguish to overwhelm him and the tears fell down his face. His heart was broken for Charlie. For everything they could have been. For everything they had lost.

How did they move on from this? None of them would ever be the same again, and Matteusz wasn’t sure he and Charlie could fit back together. He had once told Charlie that he feared him, it was a fleeting thought, one that came in the worst moments, given more importance by the confession forced. He had feared the Charlie he didn’t know, the battle tested Prince of Rhodia, the last of his species, the Charlie that had nothing to lose, that had no hope. Matteusz feared that was the only Charlie that existed now. _I love you and I’ve lost you. Goodbye._ He had walked away from Matteusz. Gone where Matteusz couldn’t follow.

Matteusz closed his eyes, but couldn’t stop the images that flashed in his mind. He let out a choked sob as the evening replayed again in his mind. He had known it would work out when Ms. Ames was in the closet. He knew Charlie wouldn’t leave him, that they would find another way. Then Charlie shot April and shattered Matteusz’s entire world.

And now Charlie was broken too.

Matteusz watched the night sky and allowed his mind to go back. He thought of the best times with Charlie. The shared glances and small smiles. The first confusing conversations and the nights spent on the phone. Studying in the library and kissing in the coffee shop. Charlie asking him to prom. Their first time together, so heartbreakingly perfect that Matteusz couldn’t bear to think about it now, that memory was so pure, so special, he couldn’t bear to have it touched by the events of the day.  

They had lost so much, but Charlie was still here and if there was nothing else in the world for Matteusz to hold onto, he would hold onto that. Maybe they couldn’t go back, maybe they shouldn’t go back. Maybe the best way back was to keep moving forward. Charlie had once told Matteusz about how he had felt when he had first come to this world, so lost and hopeless and alone. Together with April, Tanya and even Ram, Matteusz had given Charlie back his hope, had saved him from a lonely world. _If you’re lost, I will find you. I will be your hope._  Charlie was lost and Matteusz needed to find him.

 

\------ 

 

When Charlie finally began to stir, Matteusz had no idea how much time had passed. It was still dark outside, the streetlamps creating an artificial glow in the room. Matteusz had his head resting on his crossed arms as he dozed, lulled into a near sleep by his newfound clarity, by the peace of his certainty, but never falling asleep fully. He was pulled back to full consciousness by Charlie’s quiet whimpers, echoed like shouts in the silent night. He rose slowly out of his chair and rubbed his eyes to wake himself up fully.  He wanted to be there to comfort Charlie, but he didn’t want to startle him by moving too quickly. He didn’t know if Charlie would remember he was there. It had been too long since Charlie had woken up with him in the room.

“Matteusz?” Charlie muttered, reaching out behind him in his sleep daze. Matteusz rushed to the bed to grab Charlie’s hand. He sat on the bed as Charlie sat up. “What’s going on?”

Matteusz didn’t know how to begin to answer that question. He didn’t even know what Charlie was asking, how much he remembered. He was silent for a beat too long. He could see the exact moment the memories of the night hit Charlie. He gasped like he had been punched in the stomach.

“Matteusz, what have I done?” Charlie reached forward to wrap himself around Matteusz and Matteusz held him. He knew there was no answer to that question.

His heart broke all over again at seeing Charlie so lost. He didn’t know how to bring Charlie back, who he would be when this was all over, but he knew that the most important thing right now was to get Charlie through the night. If they could just make it through the darkness, Matteusz knew they could move forward, had hope that they could figure it out together. He knew Charlie was strong. He knew it even when Charlie didn’t know it himself.  

“It’s all gone now.” Charlie sobbed, but there were no tears. “Every Rhodian that’s ever lived. Gone. I was supposed to protect them and now they’re all gone. All my people. Every –" He stopped suddenly, as if a new realisation had dawned on him. “And April. Oh God, April.” Charlie desperately scanned Matteusz’s face. Looking for answers and reassurances Matteusz couldn’t possibly provide. “Matteusz, what happened to April? What… What’s going to happen now?”

“I do not know. I wish I had the answers for you, but I do not. In the morning we can find the others, see what they know.”

“The others?” A look of panic crossed Charlie’s face. His breathing was coming in rapid pants, like he couldn’t get control of himself. “How am I even supposed to face them? After what I did? I can’t. Matteusz, no.  I can’t do it.” He was becoming frantic. Matteusz could feel Charlie shaking. He was gripping at Matteusz so hard it was almost painful where Charlie’s fingers clutched him.

“Shh...” Matteusz pulled away slightly to look Charlie in the face. Charlie looked away from Matteusz, so he gently placed a hand on Charlie’s cheek to keep him looking forward. “Look at me, Charlie. Breathe. Just breathe with me.” With the hand that wasn’t holding Charlie’s face, he took Charlie’s hand and held it against his chest. He breathed slowly in and out. In and out. In and out. Until Charlie finally started breathing with him.  

They stayed that way for a long time, slowly breathing together.

“I thought I was the hero.” Quietly, like he hadn’t meant for Matteusz to hear.

“Just because you are not the hero, does not mean you were not brave,” Matteusz responded gently. “The others, they don’t know what it’s like. It’s easy to say what you would do when you don’t have to do it.  It’s easy to judge someone when you do not have to make the hard choices.  It is the people that have to make these choices that are the strong ones. I didn’t understand that before. I am sorry.”

Charlie looked at Matteusz with such confusion Matteusz worried that he wasn’t making sense anymore. Charlie was so often confused by the things that he said.

“Why?” Charlie asked. His voice cracked and a tear rolled down his cheek. Matteusz slowly wiped it away with the hand still cradling Charlie’s face. When Matteusz was silent, Charlie continued, “Why are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you were alone. That I was judging you for making the hard choices. I did not understand what it was like before. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you when you needed it.”

“Don’t! Don’t think that you’ve ever done anything wrong. I love you more than I ever knew I could. Before I even knew what it meant, you taught me. You’re the only thing in this world that kept me sane all those months. I don’t know who I would be without you.”

Matteusz couldn’t help the tears that fell then. He was trying to be strong to get Charlie through this, but he could only handle so much. It overwhelmed him to hear Charlie say those things. He had been so worried. So worried that Charlie wouldn’t want him anymore.

He needed to feel Charlie against him. Charlie’s words had brought him home. It had been a week of wanting nothing but to have Charlie in his arms again and he couldn’t put it off any longer. He ran his hand into Charlie’s hair and gently pulled him forward to press their lips together. Charlie whimpered quietly and gripped Matteusz more tightly against him.

After far too short a time, Charlie slowly pulled away. He pushed Matteusz down gently until he was laying on his back and then Charlie curled into his side, resting his head on Matteusz’s shoulder and wrapping an arm around his middle. Matteusz listened to Charlie’s slow breathing and relaxed slightly for the first time since he had seen Charlie that afternoon.

The sky outside was beginning to lighten when Charlie finally spoke again, the words piercing Matteusz’s heart,  “The Doctor said not to avenge genocide with genocide.”

Matteusz took a moment to put his thoughts into words. He knew how much respect Charlie had for The Doctor and he didn’t want to alienate Charlie with his anger, “The Doctor isn’t here. He left us here alone to deal with these things that no one should ever have to deal with. And we are just children!” He shifted slightly, forcing Charlie to move along with him, so they were laying on their sides facing each other. He wanted to be able to look at Charlie.

“That wasn’t vengeance, Charlie. You’ve been fighting longer than any of us. You’ve been fighting harder than anyone.  I don’t know anyone who could go through what you’ve gone through and not fall apart. You were right in detention. You are stronger than the rest of us. If all you wanted was vengeance on the Shadow Kin, you could have done it months ago.”

“You yourself said if I used the Cabinet, I would be a monster. And you were right, I am a monster. How… How can you possibly love me after what I did?”

“I’ve seen your heart, Charlie. I’ve been beside you in battle since prom. I’ve seen you be great again and again. You fought every urge you had to take your vengeance on the Shadow Kin. The Cabinet has been in your room for months and you waited to use it until there was no other option. You waited until the Shadow Kin were threatening this entire world. You were so close when the petals were here and you stopped. You waited until Cornakinus threatened everyone you love. This entire world. You’re a protector.”

Matteusz didn’t understand the look on Charlie’s face then. He gave Matteusz a small, sad, hopeful smile and Matteusz noticed the light on his face. He looked up to see the street lamps flicker off, the sky was pink and the first rays of light were creeping through Charlie’s curtains.

“I promise I will love you today. And tomorrow I will make this promise again.”


End file.
